Edit – This post was created prior to Hurricane Irma bearing down on Florida. Obviously, major catastrophes will cause a lot of damage, trauma and grief. However, the way you deal with a traumatic event right when it occurs is different than dealing with it well after the fact. See my next post on Psychological First Aid for more.
Next post will be on Psychological First Aid followed by a post on tips for dealing with grief in children.
A good resource for better understanding the full impact of trauma is The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk. I’ll add a link to that later on
Disclaimer – the author of this post is not engaged in a therapeutic relationship with the reader and cannot give counseling advice without a confidential appointment. Readers should be sure to consult with a licensed therapist in their area or seek emergency medical attention if they are experiencing difficulty.
What I’ve found is that for far to many people trauma is the norm, not the exception. If it’s your norm, it becomes very hard to recognize it as “trauma” and not as “a Tuesday”. And because, as you also mention, the brain loves patterns and is pattern seeking – when trauma and chaos become the norm, there’s a tendency to continue that pattern as well. Generational trauma is a real thing. I really enjoyed this post and your candor about your personal experiences as a human.
Thanks so much! You hit the nail on the head. Bessel talks about Complex PTSD or Developmental Trauma Disorder (not actual diagnoses yet) in his book. You see the trauma and drama addiction a lot; particularly, in domestic violence, addictions, PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder. And yes, generational curses are definitely real!
I’m going to have to check that book out
I have recently moved and am on the receiving end of a newly diagnosed genetic disorder. The suck it up came in the form of Mother demanding I take it back! ‘Have you made it up, some crap to get attention’ … stunned as I was I wasn’t ready for a not effected sisters response. ‘Stop the drama it’s no biggie. Now my eldest sister in Pooler Georgia has been told to evacuate. Me oh my, what a strange but revealing two months.
Yikes! Sounds like you’re checking off a lot on the life stress checklist as well. It’s always revealing and eye-opening the way different people respond. I hope things pick up for you. Thanks for taking the time amidst all the chaos to read aling
*along
My pleasure x
Excellent read. I have been relearning how to walk through pain (of various types) and and to actually allow myself to feel it all and trying to teach my children the same. Thanks for sharing your life (and training :))!
Thanks for following along Jes. That’s no easy feat. Feeling and connecting with the pain are very counterintuitive. Our brain and body are designed to protect us from harm. Good luck on your journey 😃
Thanks!
My move from Birmingham to Huntington, WV and back to Birmingham caused grief for both my son and husband, not to mention my son’s grandfather died while living away to whom he was close to. Until recent he just started speaking up on how he misses his grandfather and hate he wasn’t in Birmingham to say goodbye. Tore me up, and made me realize I too has done what my parents did to me by uprooting me to another state to miss family.
From someone who is married to a counselor and has moved 44 times in her life, this is so true.
Love the bit about burning everything- LOL- we opted to sell and give away a lot. (Hence we’ve had probably 6 different beds and 6-7 different couches. 😂
Wow! 44 times?! That’s a lot of packing tape. Thanks for taking time to read