Interview With Millenial Mrs. and Mom Author Savannah Esposito

What trends are you seeing with your readership and millennials in general with regards to marriage?

I have actually had many young people contact me for guest posting about their marriages. Some of the people who are reaching out are between 19-23. A lot of their stories are reflecting that they believe they don’t have to wait until a certain age to get married, that they “just know” and take that leap of faith. They often speak of their trials and how they’ve learned to overcome things as a team and are able to grow together through these experiences.

What would you say are some of the biggest challenges facing today's couples?

Technology! As amazing as technology can be, it can also tear couples apart so quickly. Whether it’s about online porn addictions or secret dating apps they find, or the fact that they can’t go on a date without their date being glued to their phone instead of having a conversation, it’s been highly detrimental to building and thriving in relationships. There is a time and place for technology, but technology with how quickly things are changing really creates issues with commitment and honesty I’ve seen.

What are one or two communication skills you’ve learned and put into practice that you’ve found beneficial?

Well, my husband and I have done EFT therapy, and our communication improved ten-fold after just a couple of sessions. We learned that there were ways in which we affected each other in negative ways that made us disconnect from each other. So what we learned was to speak up about things that bothered us. For instance, I do my best to get my blog and magazine work done before my husband gets home, but there have been days where there just weren’t enough hours in the day, and he will come home and I’ll be on my computer. I never knew that it hurt him that I didn’t greet him by closing my computer and hugging him. He told me he felt that my computer was more important. Once I was aware of that, I changed the behavior. Same with me, when I was feeling like he was disconnecting, I reached out and said to him, “Hey, I feel like you’re disconnecting and it’s making me feel a bit nervous.” So truly, the skill we learned from EFT is to slow down and voice our emotions when we catch ourselves feeling them.

The second skill I’ve learned is listening, truly listening. Not that I didn’t listen before, but I’ve practiced listening to the point where I don’t interrupt my husband until he is done. Sometimes couples are so caught up in trying to figure out how they are going to respond that they jump in with a response so they don’t forget it, or aren’t even truly taking in what’s being said because they are trying to come up with a response. I’ve learned to just listen, reflect back what I heard and he will either confirm or correct me and then I’ll give feedback or continue the conversation.