Are you the parent of a preteen (9 to 13 years of age)? If so, you’ve probably noticed your child entering a new phase of growth and independence over the past few months or years. This transitional stage is filled with changes in brain development and personality shifts. Here are a few of the challenges that parents commonly face when their children are in their “tween” years:

• Friends vs. Family – Younger children tend to gravitate toward their families, but once they enter the preteen years, many of them become more interested in hanging out with their friends. Don’t be offended by this—it’s actually healthy, since it encourages independence, improves their life skills, and expands their social network. Caregivers may start to think that their kids may not want to be around them any more - but don't be fooled! Most kids still want those family time opportunities offered to them, they just want more choice to say no to them sometimes. 

• Developing Self-Confidence – Preteens may place a great deal of importance on what others think of them, and while you may not be able to control what they’re hearing at school or with friends, you can take steps to build their self-esteem at home. Pay attention to not only what you say about them, but also how you speak about yourself and others. Caregivers can create a powerful sanctuary of confidence at home. Modeling self-compassion, speaking kindly about your own body and abilities, and focusing praise on their efforts rather than appearance will help them build a resilient inner voice.

• Changing Communication – Tweens often process their thoughts internally, meaning they might not always answer direct questions about their day. To connect, try joining them in their world—watch their favorite show, play a video game together, or take a drive to a place you both enjoy. These low-pressure, shared moments create a comfortable space for them to open up naturally about everything from everyday life to deeper social topics. 

Partner with a Therapist

Every parenting journey looks different, and navigating these transition years can be challenging. For those looking to build stronger connection strategies or seeking guidance in supporting a tween, professional individual and family therapy can offer valuable assistance. Personalized therapy sessions are available to provide practical tools to help families thrive during the preteen years.

If you have a preteen and you need help managing your child’s behavior, contact us today. We’ll gladly schedule a therapy session at a date and time that’s convenient for you so that we can discuss the challenges you’re experiencing and supply you with customized parenting strategies and support.